My Head in Leaves, Neatly Raked

2007-08-24T07:47:00.000-07:00

I am

I am tangled in indecision

I am tangled in references to the past

I am tangled forever in meaningless tasks

I am tangled in my demons

I am tangled in love and lust

I am tangled in friendships

Some turmoil

I am tangled in thought, in

Consciousness

I am tangled for tangles sake

Above all, I am simply tangled

I am.

SFK

2007-08-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

UNTANGLED

I see my reflection in everything that was

See my direction become untangled all at once

Untangling for future ends reborn

SFK

2007-08-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

DREAM OF THE DISENGAGED

Unsettling images bombard my sleep

In waves, they wash over the artists eye

Reality in the deepest depths, I reap

And not waking,

Not waking, I sit and cry

For the past that keeps repeating

For the future clouded in fear

For my youth that I am keeping

As if in a jar for some later year

And the years they do roll by

As these years and dreams ne’er collide

In present tense, into a dream within a dream

And not waking, I sit and cry

For the past that always looms

For the future seen with hope

For my age forewarned of doom

As I carry on and helplessly grope

At waking

SFK

2007-08-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

GETTING UP

Getting up is a feat that I have yet to master

In a timely manner as I struggle on one knee

Hands prostrated and eyes straining for distance

And my back screaming with the pain of past

Endeavors that put me down and required a

Lengthy effort with soul wrenching introspection

At this very moment I am crouched and tired

But oddly optimistic with my eyes clear and

Skyward and my hands on my knees back tensed

Elbows bowed for that attempt at standing with

Great hopes of standing for a while this time

If only for a while to be closer to the sun

SFK

2007-08-16T11:52:00.000-07:00

Great beauty hangs before me

Standing at the edge where soul meets sea

And gazing forward optimistic yet blind

To these visions of hope I bow my head, take a knee

As my new found soul meets heart and finds

Great beauty hangs before me

Floating as if in a trance sublime

Forgiveness of self and world entwined

To my love I render past lives to die

Forever longing the future I find

Great beauty hangs before me

She stands laughing now at the sunrise bliss

With dancing shadows of presents mist

In fall leaves do turn a dying gaze

To spring, new life and thoughts of days

As great beauty hangs before me

SFK

2007-07-05T15:00:00.001-07:00

SHORT ODE TO THE FUTURE AND STORMS

There’s a storm coming,

Cleansing in leaf ripping magnitude.

Sitting underneath as branches creak and bend,

I see now the beginning, not the end

Of sunlight there seems a calm of spirit.

An artists balm of deep regard

For futures undreamt, our past unfolds

Into longing

For the future I behold

And for the future, I love the storm.

SFK

2007-05-16T13:15:00.000-07:00

Faith and Heroes

I don't believe in heroes, but i've got a second rate
fatalism
I have faith in the future
but time is elusive
Deeper visions, bigger lies
these illusions tie us to a higher high
Looking forward, feeling no warmth
Looking forward to some peace of
mind
Darkness
It can only take as long as it does to say
goodbye

And From A Dream, I Sleep

2007-05-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

There's a storm coming, there's a storm coming, there's a
storm coming.

These were my thoughts as I awoke one morning. These thoughts, and the unmistakable feelings of fear and doom. Like a rabbit gone tharn, I sat up in bed - Trying to gather the fleeing memories of a dream.

I was alone in my room. And outside, the calm, incessant sounds of life. The occasional car passing. A group of kids are playing in the street. The neighbors dog is barking.

Everything is normal.

Dig It

2007-05-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

Well, It seems we are finally going to find out if "Brushy Bill" Roberts was actually the infamous William "The Kid" Bonney. I can't be the only one that had the "who cares?" flag pop up when they announced this in the paper. I think the need for a nickname says it all. After being forced to take another identity, I guess old billy felt that he had to jazz up his new name a bit.
Where does archeology end and just plain curiosity begin? It's one thing to dig up mummies in Egypt, but quite another to disturb the graves of three, recently dead, people in order to extract DNA. Have we really become so disrespectful of our dead? If, in my family, no one remembers what dress my great great grandmother buried in, we are not allowed to just dig her up and check. I suppose we could call this billy the kid episode "Mob Curiosity". Why, also, would anyone be proud of claiming a cold blooded killer as an ancestor? We don't really see anyone clamoring to be Hitlers' kin.

Living in Echo

2007-04-26T17:36:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else feel like they are moving through life, not on a strictly linear path, but rather tumbling along the concussion wave of a continuous echo?
...yeah, me neither.

2007-03-23T12:57:00.000-07:00

Love Under A Full Moon Red

In all my life I have seen but one truth
The beauty of the full moon light on your face
At this precise moment I surrender my soul
This truest creation leaves no trace

A lover of life and light the full moon dances
Wound hands bound and cleverly knotted
A moments grasp earthly lights clouded
A quickening moon shivers for fragile late romances

The fountain shines blue this ocean before me howls
Light furtive glances feeling for sharp objects
incandescent smiles not wide for defenses
This heart beats wild and races up for miles

SFK

2007-03-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

I am

I am tangled in indecision

I am tangled in references to the past

I am tangled forever in meaningless tasks

I am tangled in my demons

I am tangled in love and lust

I am tangled in friendships

Some turmoil

I am tangled in thought, in

Consciousness

I am tangled for tangles sake

Above all, I am simply tangled

I am.

SFK

My favorite poem right now

2006-11-15T08:47:00.000-08:00

2005-12-30T09:47:00.000-08:00

Cuddle me this

2005-11-29T11:50:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, the cuddle party. It was only a matter of time, I just thought I would be long gone from this earth. Well, at least I hoped. According to one web site, cuddle parties are designed to give you the physical connection with another person without the happy ending and the spiritual connection without the pillow talk. Oh my, what a diluted reality. To ensure that everyone feels nice and safe, they use a a combination between referee and lifegaurd. I really had to laugh when I read the lifegaurd part; Help, I'm drowning in a sea of inanity! With someone constantly watching for inappropriate behavior, I wouldn't be able to pull the, "Sorry, my hand slipped", or, "It's not my fault your jammies are so baggy", or the ever popular, "What, that isn't allowed?". Personally, I like fiddling with naughty bits and sweater kittens.
This seems like it could be a gateway act to full on swinging. Sort of like swinging lite. I guess some people really do need a "spiritual guide". The bottom line is, if you feel the need to pet, get a cat or dog. That's why they call them pets.
Love and over the jammie caresses,
Scott K

edge-ucate.org and the meaning of humanity

2005-11-09T09:25:00.000-08:00

Websters defines humanity as the quality or state of being humane, which in turn means marked by compassion, sympathy, or consideration for humans. My cousin, Justin, is a living example of the definition. I don't think I can do their organization justice by going into what they are all about, so please click on the title or the link on the right and visit their website. I can't say enough about how proud I am of him, and I'm also more than a little embarrassed for not putting my humanity into action.Well, visit their website and see for yourself the good they are doing.

Only One could be the Topcat

2005-11-08T07:56:00.000-08:00

It says alot about our culture when we are more outraged by a couple of cheerleaders getting it on in a bathroom stall, than the everyday violence that we are confronted with everyday. The appropriate response to this should have been to watch, and possibly cheer them on. How often do they get treated to a cheering section? They work so hard and this is how they're repaid. Shame on the women of Tampa. You usually pay good money to see a little girl on girl action; Unless the big todo was because the stall door was closed, or maybe feelings were bruised because they weren't invited in.
Now, it was wrong for the one to give another "innocent" cheerleaders' ID in lieu of her own. The poor girl is crying and throwing up, not because her "good name" is tarnished, but probably because her family now knows what goes on at away games. They are called Topcats for a reason. A Very Good reason. In fact, I believe the women who broke them up deserved a punch in the face. You could say that not everyone likes watching to pro cheerleaders get it on, but that wouldn't be true. Everyone likes it, just some people are more apt to admit it than others.

When I was back there in seminary school

2005-10-31T14:46:00.000-08:00

In my quasi-religious fervor, while writing my last blog, I forgot to relay something to the reader. I actually went to a seminary school. Well, I didn’t attend one as a theological student, but rather went on a summer retreat to one. It was between seventh and eighth grade at a place called St. Lawrence Seminary in Wisconsin. As I am originally from Detroit Michigan, this was a big deal for me at the time. The retreat was a weeklong adventure into the rigors of the catholic clergy training program.
I can honestly say that it was a great time. I can’t say, however, if that was because it was my first time away from home alone or it had anything to do with religion in general. I guess what I’m trying to imply is that I didn’t “findJesus” or anything. In fact, I remember very little about the whole experience. I do remember that we were woken up at just before midnight to go to mass. Or is it called vespers? I don’t know, but it was alright. There are two particular memories that stand out.
We were assigned a counselor per eight or ten of us. They were all students at the seminary. Ours was this long haired hippie looking guy all full of the inner peace you would expect from a future “man of God”. Well, near the end of the retreat they had this talent show where each group had to do a little skit while a song played. I’m sure there is an actual theatrical term for this…
The song he chose for us was “Eve of Destruction” by Barry McGuire.

The Eastern world, it is explodin',Violence flarin', bullets loadin'.You're old enough to kill, but not for votin',You don't believe in war -- but what's that gun you're totin'?An' even the Jordan river has bodies floatin'.But you tell me, over and over and over again, my friend,Ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.Don't you understand what I'm tryin' to say,An' can't you feel the fears I'm feelin' today?If the button is pushed, there's no runnin' away,There'll be no one to save, will the world in a grave.Take a look around you, boy, it's bound to scare you, boy.An' you tell me, over and over and over again, my friend,Ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.Yeak, my blood's so mad feels like coagulatin',I'm sittin' here just contemplatin'.I can't twist the truth, it knows no regulation,Handful of senators don't pass legislation,An' marches alone can't bring integrationWhen human respect is disintegratin',This whole crazy world is just too frustratin'.An' you tell me, over and over and over again, my friend,Ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.Think of all the hate there is in Red China,Then take a look around to Selma, Alabama.Ah, you may leave here for four days in space,But when you return it's the same ol' place,The poundin' of the drums, the pride an' disgrace.You can bury your dead, but don't leave a trace.Hate your next-door neighbor, but don't forget to say grace,An' tell me, over and over and over again, my friend,You don't believe we're on the eve of destruction,No, no, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.

Needless to say, we didn’t win.
The other memory is a little embarrassing. In short, the only showers in the barracks style dorms were community showers. I arrived home a very stinky lad at the end of that week.

Can you Proposition the Lord?

2005-10-31T10:22:00.000-08:00

On november 8, for all the non-Texans out there, we will be voting on a constitutional ban on same sex marraiges. You should be made aware that such marraiges are already considered unlawful by the state. For what it's worth, which is a hell of alot since this is my Blog, I will be voting against this prop. As a married straight man to boot!
I do have bunches of respect for the christian point of view. As much respect as can be mustered for people who kiss rattle snakes and molest young boys. Oh, am I pigeon-holing an entire segment of our population? I just don't see how Tom and Dick-no pun intended-getting legally hitched poses any threat to my marraige or family. I do see, though, how the crimes of the church could affect us. Maybe it's just me.
I can already hear the the christians pounding on the gates; You just haven't been called out on your sins. Yet. Well thats not exactly true is it? God sees all, in case you've forgotten. I'll write it again in case you still don't get it. GOD SEES ALL. Are you really so arrogant as to believe God even needs your help you self serving sons of bitches? See, now I'm angry. He/She will take care of everything in due time, so get the f*** over yourselves. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate christians. I just feel better when they're not around.
Now for a little personal religious backround. I went to catholic schools for most of my chilhood years. I was even an alter boy for some time; It was a great way to get out of class now and again. Believe it or not, I was never even molested by any of our priests. I know. Shocking. As priests go, they were actually great guys. My main split with the church came at the hands of our eighth grade math and french teacher. Being a very devout individual, he thought it was a good idea to keep a bunch of eighth grade boys after our friday mass to do the whole hold hands and pray thing. I refused. That was when I started to distiguish the difference between the church and God. That was when I stopped being a christian and started on my own personal journey to understand the idea of God; A journey that I believe will not end even after my physical death. So drink your wine and eat your wafers. You'll find out soon enough if you're right. Until then, why don't you just lighten up a little bit; It's not your salvation on the line here.

At least it's not oil for nothing

2005-10-28T06:49:00.000-07:00

$100 billion dollars. While all of us thought the higher gas prices were due to suffering two hurricanes in one season, Exxon was scooping in record profits? $100 billion dollars! Congress says they may want to look into the possibility that there was price gouging. No Shit. You don't get a 75 percent leap in profits from trimming a little corporate fat. I don't think it would be a bad idea to boycott these f***s like we did when they crashed into Alaska.
$100 Billion Dollars!?!?!?!?!!!!!

penis envy or Quality control?

2005-10-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

I saw that thing on the news about a group of women that used a state anti-discrimination law to gain admittance to an all male club. Does that mean I can go to AA meetings even if I don't drink? Can I force a membership out of a womens only gym? Well, let me know. Except, of course, for all you bra burning, man wanna-be lesbians.
...C'mon, that was a joke.
Really, I need some feedback.

I'll have the french toast please

2005-10-13T08:25:00.000-07:00

There is so much animosity towards our own government, mostly well deserved, from the media. We had better be careful, though, or else we'll hate us as much as the french do.

Here's to an all-knowing God

2005-10-12T09:15:00.000-07:00

Can you petition the Lord with prayer? I don't believe so, so I will not be seen in church this sunday. Sure, I get the whole "sense of community" thing, I just believe that My God is an all-knowing God.

thanks for all the muffins

2005-10-12T08:43:00.000-07:00

Morning has never been the best time for me, but breakfast is still a nice tradition

Wake up young man

2005-10-11T08:49:00.000-07:00

Oh, the humanity.